I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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