Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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