you have to choose: penises or morals?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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