So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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