i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
