Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
