my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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