i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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