He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
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