There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
