I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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