Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
