Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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