i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
