I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
