then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it's great music for shaving your balls
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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