And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
