when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
