Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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