Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
