didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
