am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
