thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
