Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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