She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
