Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there was a trapeze. enough said
We are two peas in an std pod
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
