i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
