We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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