You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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