Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
