We're facebook friends in real life
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
