the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
