What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
