She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
