I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
