when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
