We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
