His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
