Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
