Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
