she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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