that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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