So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
