Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
if only i could text you this smell
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
