He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Everyone says I win the strip club
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
