This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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