Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
