I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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