Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
