Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
