He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
this hospital has no fireball
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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